the cullens crazy cat catastrophes
by 123catdoglover
Summary: Starts after breaking dawn. Cullens and cats. What will happen? Humorous
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I don't own twilight. I just made them interact with cats!

Emmett pov

"I'm going out hunting now" I screamed upstairs so everyone would know. I like to do that. It sometimes hurts their ears. This was the 7th time I had screamed it up the stairs.

"We know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" a chorus of many voices screamed back at me. I grinned. I had made them mad.

"Emmett leave before I kill you and destroy your video games!"rose screamed from our rooms. She was going to destroy my video games? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to go. I raced out the door, not bothering to open it first. It was just glass. I heard esme's sigh of frustration from upstairs and grinned again. It was fun being annoying. I jumped over the river and smelled the air as a ran. There- a cat was moving through the forest. Hoping it was a mountain lion, I sprang. As I bit into it, I realized it was a house cat and let go. It was writhing in pain but I left it and went hunting. I returned to the house 5 hours later, full. I played video games for a while then went to talk to rose. As I was walking upstairs, Carlisle came up to me.

"Emmett, these calls I'm getting about people having bites from a cat then going into shock of pain wouldn't have anything to do with you would it?"Carlisle asked me.

"No! why would you think that?" I asked him.

"I didn't think so. Thanks. " Carlisle answered then walked away. Why would he think it had anything to do with me? I didn't do anythi- wait. That cat I bit- uh oh.

I raced after Carlisle, then I heard a seris of yowling from outside. Knowing I wouldn't like what I see, I looked out. Uh oh. Rose was going to kill me.


	2. emmett!

Disclaimer- I was sick the day of the fantastic ideas for stories convention. I guess Stephanie Meyer went and got twilight as her idea.

_**The next 2 chapters are very short. I'm sorry! The next 2 chapters are continuations of the 1**__**st**__** chapter. **_

Emmett pov

I looked out the window to find the source of the yowling and saw blood red eyes staring back at me. Many pairs of blood red eyes. Oh great. Rose is going to kill me. That stupid cat must have turned others into vampires. Drat. Rose really will kill me. Renesme started screaming downstairs. She must have looked outside. Great. Bella , Edward and Jacob will kill me now too.

"Emmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Edward screamed from downstairs.

"What did my stupid husband do now?" asked rose.

"He made vampire cats" replied Edward angrily.

"Emmettttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My whole family yelled. Uh oh. I'm going to jump out a window and run now.

"Emmett Cullen you are not going to jump out a window get down her right now or else I will come and get you and hold you down as rose kills you!" Alice screamed without taking a breath. "I'm coming now!"Now I'm going to leave. I turned to run and found jasper behind me. How did he get there? Whatever I'll run the other wa- drat. Alice was in front of me. Jasper grabbed me from behind and Alice towed me downstairs. Esme was beside herself

"How did you do this? Why? How will we get rid of them?"And on and on and on.

"So it's a few cats. So what?" I asked.

"So what? So what? SO WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?" screamed rose. "There are vampire cats lining the river. There may be more. And you ask So WHAT?"Said rose. Uh oh. She was angry. Uh oh. "What are we going to do?"She whimpered.

"Well…………………………."said Carlisle.

"What?" asked the family as one.

"Well…………………………." Carlisle said hesitantly.

"What is it?" asked Esme.

"We could go to the volturi" answered Carlisle. His announcement was answered in silence.

"Carlisle, is that such a good idea?" asked Alice "I mean, they did almost kill us"

"They could get rid of the problem. "He answered.

"Let's go!" I said.


	3. The volturi

Disclaimer- I was asked if I wanted to write the best story in the world, but I said I was too busy. I guess Stephanie Meyer wasn't that busy.

_**Hope you like this chapter! Please review, even if you didn't like it. I want to know how to improve. **_

Edward pov

"And enjoy your stay in Italy" chirped the cheery flight attendant. I smiled at all the excited thoughts around me, all thinking about how lucky they were, and practicing Italian. I was not excited. I did not like the vulture and personally I thought aro would try to make Alice and I stay, which I had no intention of doing. I just wanted to be done with it. We rented the fastest cars the agency had to offer then sped to Voltera. There was traffic going into the city like always. Once were out of traffic, we found a shadowy spot to park and wait for someone to show up.

1 hour later- Bella pov

Just as I was thinking that no one would show up when Jane and Alec detached themselves from the shadows wearing the black cloaks of the Volturi.

"Come with us." They whispered. "That is, if you want to see Aro." We followed them. We finally entered the big shadowy chamber. Aro rose and said

"So you came back. Did you need something?"

"Actually Aro, yes we did" answered Carlisle "We have a slight vampire cats problem" silence followed his announcement.

"Did you just say vampire cats?" asked Aro "How did those come to be?" as jasper and Edward coughed Emmett Carlisle answered

"One of my sons accidently" Jasper and Edward covered a laugh "turned a cat into a vampire, who then proceded to turn others."

"I will take care of it for you. Did you need anything else?" Aro asked.

"No, that's it. Thank you." Answered Carlisle. We left then, and went back to the cars and drove back to the airport. When we finally got home, there were no vampire cats, but there was a pile of ash in the back yard.


	4. Jacob vs House cat

Disclaimer- I do not own Renesme or any other twilight character. They belong to Stephanie Meyer- unfortunately.

_**Thank you everybody who reviewed! This chapter is dedicated to you. **_

Edward pov

"Hey daddy, pull over." said Nessie from the backseat. As I did so I asked why. She answered me my running back down the road and picking up a midnight black cat. Oh no. Not a cat.

"Renesme, are you sure?" asked Bella, probably thinking along the same lines as I was. "Can you take care of it?"

"I'm sure." answered Nessie. "I can take care of it" "And, who would have problems with it?"Um, all of us? Great. I can just see how it's going to turn out. Badly.

Jacob pov

I was sleeping on the couch until Nessie got home. She had been out visiting Charlie with Bella and Edward. Right after they pulled up, Nessie ran into the house. As she crossed the threshold into the house, I could see she was holding something. Uh oh. It's not a cat is it? Great. It is. Great. It jumped out of her arms and started hissing at me, getting all big, pushing its fur up. I growled back at it. It continued hissing getting angrier and angrier. I felt myself starting to phase and let myself. I stared down at the cat growling fiercely. Great. It was starting to scare me. Great.

Bella pov

As I got out of the car, Jacob in his wolf form came streaking out of the house. The cat came streaking after him, yowling loudly. Renesme was running after both yelling

"Stop, Stop!" she sounded hurt. It broke my heart, so I ran and grabbed the cat. Edward quickly grabbed Jacob and stopped him. Jacob phased back and hugged the crying Renesme.

"I'm sorry" he said. "I just am a little afraid of cats."

"Will you hold him?" asked Renesme. "You can get over your fear that way"

"Just because you asked, yes." answered Jacob. But the moment the cat was in his arms, it began to yowl and went for his eyes. I can just tell that this won't work out.


End file.
